1. It is fake.
2. Shawn Michaels has 2000 litres of blood in him, and he obligingly spills 5 litres every match (or used to till WWE became PG-13).
3. Everyone bleeds only from their forehead; it is standard WWE procedure to always fall on barbed wire, glass tables, etc., head first and to not protect your face with your hands.
4. The greatest and most ubiquitous offensive move against an opponent who is running towards you is to bend over and bow to him like a gentleman, so that he can kick you in the face.
5. People spend 30 minutes fighting and give their finishing moves at the end of the match, rather than giving the finishing move thrice at the beginning to finish the match.
6. The terribly dysfunctional families in the WWE. Even if brothers are initially in the same tag team, not even two years can pass before they burn each other's houses or something and start feuding. Even fake brothers fight (UT and Kane). And don't even start on the McMahons - there was a time in the early 2000s when every episode of RAW featured every McMahon slapping every other McMahon.
7. Shane McMahon's crazy little entranceway dance.
8. No match in history has ever finished with a move like a leg drop (Hulk Hogan excluded from the statistic) yet the commentators always express jawdropping surprise at the kickout.
9. Also, all leg drops are pitiable moves, with hardly any utility more than stalling or tiring an opponent, yet Hulk Hogan's leg drop is an earthshattering knockout move.
10. A badass like Bret Hart wore pink tights.
11. The Undertaker came back from the Buried Alive match in 2003 even though that was the time of his very human biker gimmick.
12. They made it PG 13. Come on! WWE PG 13?! Making WWE PG 13 is like banning all offensive language from a cricket match between India and Pakistan.
13. Kane took off his mask, thereby transforming himself into a scary crazed maniac to a bald fat man with a beer belly about as scary as a Barbie Doll and burying his career deeper than the Undertaker ever got buried in a Buried Alive match.
14. There are people in the world who actually like John Cena.
15. WWE, and not the World Wildlife Fund, had to change its name because of the WWF clash.
16. Everyone in the world knows the main event of Wrestlemania is not going to end in under 20 minutes, but every year JR and the King express great anxiety on seeing someone go for a cover in the fifth minute of the WM main event, saying: "We could have a new champion here."
17. Many wrestlers (Undertaker, Goldberg, Kane) hang out their tongues and make slurping noises as if hungry to indicate extreme hostility and evilness, though it just makes them look like they've just had chilli.
18. After Triple H hooks one hand for the pedigree, the wrestler being given the pedigree will often, cooperatively, hold up the second hand to assist him.
19. It is legal to come into the ring and break up a pinfall if you're the member of a tag team that isn't supposed to be in the ring.20. The Ultimate Warrior's finisher. The writer of this article is not very strong (6 ft; 110 pounds) but that wouldn't even finish him.
21. 3 chokeslams and 2 tombstones from two 7 foot 300 pounders cannot put the 6'4" 250 pound Austin away, but one double stunner renders both the giants unconscious for the rest of the day.
22. Big Show and Yokozuna keep/kept giving the Banzai Drop (that thing where they go to the second rope and try to jump on the guy below) even though the success rate for this move is 0.00000011 %; the guy always moves out of the way.
23. We can't understand how Hulk Hogan's routine of Hulking Up became so popular. To us, it looks like a guy with a bad constipation problem pumped his fists to get rid of his problems, huffing and puffing with eyes wide open and sweating with all that pressure inside, and then points towards the toilet, which the opponent just happens to be standing in the way of.
24. People who have watched WWE for 10 years still believe that everything is true, and post angry messages on internet forums saying: "I hate that *&^&*^* Edge so much, he cheated and beat the Undertaker."
25. The WWE Divas scream loud screams of ecstasy as they pull each other's hair in the ring and claw at each other. Only Maria Sharapova can scream louder.
26. Triple H wins a title every other day, Edge wins a title every day; Undertaker wins 6 titles in 20 years, Kane 1 title for 1 day in 13 years.
27. They made Viscera take off his shirt and become Big Daddy V, thereby showing the world the most voluptuous assets since the days of Sable.
28. Goldberg left the WWE.
29. When one half of an evil tag team is illegally (because he's not supposed to be in the ring) hitting one half of the good tag team, the referee never sees it because he's frantically trying to stop the other half of the good tag team from getting into the ring.30. Its ability to take grown men back to their childhood.
31. Michael Cole's usage of the word 'vintage'. In the WM 23 Undertaker vs. Batista match, he must have said 'vintage' at least 35 times.
32. Wrestlers other than the Rock always keep making movies that recover one tenth their budget at the box office - See No Evil, The Marine and The Condemned will not live forever in cinematic history.
33. No very fat or very huge person has ever won a majority of his matches, but tiny people like Rey Mysterio usually end up on the winning side. In the real world, Big Daddy V would have Rey Mysterio for breakfast any day.
34. When a wrestler is a heel (a bad guy) he will give 10 low blows a match; when he becomes a face (a good guy) he will suddenly lose all affinity for the pelvic regions of his opponent's body. And the audience will cheer him for his new-found goodness and decency - till his next heel turn.
35. They let Chyna wrestle in the Women's instead of in the Men's division. Maybe they were too scared to tell her.
36. People still sign up to become WWE referees, even though they know their probable fate in every match is to be beaten up by one of the wrestlers, and then choked back to consciousness long enough to count the pinfall.
37. There is no standard time between the 1, 2 and 3 count - it varies from a very fast count (a biased referee) to normal (a normal referee) to slow (a slow referee) to Ric Flair (as special guest referee).
38. Trish Stratus left.
39. In a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match, the wrestlers always carefully position 5 tables on top of each other at the beginning of the match for no apparent reason whatsoever and get back into the ring, feeling that they have been very cunning in ensuring that no-one thinks that they haven't prepared the ending of the match, where they will jump through the five tables.
40. The announcers exaggerate now and then. For example, they say things like "Will either of these men (Triple H and The Rock) ever be the same again after this match?", cheerfully ignoring the fact that they've said the same thing about the same people about 1000 times before, and the people in question have never really changed.
41. No one can retire till they die; for example, every match Hulk Hogan or Terry Funk wrestles is his last.
42. People can't understand why Ric Flair is so respected because all he can do is the knife edged chest chops and the Figure Four Leglock.
43. After giving a finishing move, a wrestler normally spends more than 3 seconds looking into the sky (as if to signify all the hard work that he put into the move), then he collapses in exhaustion, then he rolls over and hooks the leg for the cover. If he just covered his opponent immediately, there would be no two-counts.
44. A referee counts progressively slower at each number of the 10-count in a Last Man Standing Match. Between 9 and 10, there is usually a respectful 5-second pause to allow the man who's being counted out to get to his feet. Sometimes (UT-Big Show 2008), the referee obviously tells the person to get up as well.
45. A good guy can always fight off 10 bad guys (unless one comes from behind and kicks his leg) but a bad guy needs at least 2 of his friends before he will even come out on the entrance ramp to address the good guy in the ring.
46. Wrestlers get nicknames which often get used more than their WWE names. For example, nobody would probably have called the Rock 'the Rock' if he hadn't got into the habit of referring to himself, preferring to call him the Brahma Bull or the Great One, and Triple H usually gets called The Game.
47. Whenever an announcers' table at ringside is to be destroyed by a wrestler being slammed on it, it is more likely that it is the Spanish announce table than anything else.
48. WWE trump cards calculate ranks when, as a matter of fact, no such ranks are ever assigned by the WWE (except the Power 25).
49. The Ultimate Warrior was ever allowed to speak.
50. At least 5 times in a match against Rey Mysterio, the opposing wrestler will fall with his head between the first and second ropes, perfectly positioned for the 619, regardless of the fact that this never happens in a normal match. Sometimes even a dropkick delivered by Mysterio in the middle of the wing will cause his opponent to stagger to the ropes and position himself for the 619.
51. All punches sound exactly the same, and are 100 times louder than ordinary punches.
52. When Austin gave The Rock a stunner, The Rock would usually fall with a thud, leap up, do a somersault, bounce once again, and then lie still. Maybe he was always practicing for his movie career.
53. When Wrestler A tries to give Wrestler B a superplex (a suplex off the top rope), Wrestler B will always climb to the top rope by himself after Wrestler A makes him sit on the turnbuckle. He does it slowly so that nobody will notice (except the eagle eyed Lolland junta). If someone tried to give me a superplex, I just wouldn't climb to the top rope.
54. The only foreign objects in common use are chairs, ladders and tables. Why aren't there more? Swords? Guns? Cars? Mayawati?
55. Whenever Stone Cold holds up his hand for a beer, one always comes flying from God-knows-where. And he always gives a Stunner after drinking beer.
56. People act as if the're choking in Cena's STFU (STF now) even though he doesn't really have any hands around their necks applying any pressure at all.
57. Shane McMahon seems to take more risks than most wrestlers even though he's the son of the Chairman.
58. Everyone in this video hits someone else before getting in the position for a suplex.
59. Every match in the WCW had 10000 people interfering - the whole roster effectively participated in every match.
60. Everyone being given a suplex jumps to help the suplex-giver. Why not change the suplex to a solo move you do to hurt yourself, kind of like those crazy jumps from the top rope all wrestlers do when they're dominating a match?
61. When a guy is desperately trying to tag in his partner, he spends 30 seconds weakly holding his hand out trying to reach his partner. As soon as he finally reaches him, he suddenly gets a surge of energy and gets up and jumps out of the ring. Why didn't he get the surge a little earlier?
62. In every big match involving the Undertaker, his opponent will hammer him into the corner and then climb slowly up to the top rope in a perfect position for the Last Ride, blissfully ignoring the fact that the Undertaker has always hit the Last Ride in this way for the last 10000 matches. When the Undertaker picks him up on his shoulders, the opponent always has a holy-shit look, as if he couldn't possibly expect it.
63. For someone who is as good on the mic as Chris Jericho is, it is surprising that he still uses the word 'parasite' almost as often as Michael Cole uses the word 'vintage'.
64. Shawn Michaels never shaves his unemployed homeless hobo beard.
65. Nowadays, Survivor Series has 99% normal singles matches.
66. Chris Jericho looks naked being the only wrestler without a tattoo.
67. So many exchanges among Raw, SmackDown and ECW happen throughout the year that it's very funny they have a special Draft every year - they could call any other episode a draft as well.
68. It is never explained why the Undertaker, even though he is an undead zombie person, has any interest at all in winning championships.
69. WWE went PG-13 and the divas clothes became shorter!!
70. Over the years pretty every top star, Rock, Austin, UT, Mick Foley, HHH, Shawn Michaels, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, DX, everyone has at some point of time, beat the shit out of the chairman of wwe. Yet, they still have their jobs. In fact, those who have made the chairman bleed have been the greatest of all.
71. Stone Cold can catch a beer can with any finger of his hand, even with all 5 simultaneously.
72. The Great Khali gets to kiss any american chick, but he chooses the ugliest of them.
73. Stephanie McMahon being the chairman's daughter, still had to stripped on TV, a dozen times.
74. Eddie Guerrero married Vickie!!!
75. Edge loved Vickie??? WTF??
76. Hot chicks and divas are attracted to Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry and World's Largest Love Machine Big Daddy V.
77. Ric Flair doesnt break his hip when he's given a back body drop at 60.
3 comments:
Every guy being given a suplex jumps to give the guy giving the suplex a boost. refer video in no. 58 :)
added :)
this comes from obviously a person who has no knowledge of the technical know-how of wrestling.Try givin a pedigree to your borther or father and check if his other hand automatically comes up or not.
Chris Jericho's pet dog is more famous than you ever will be.so insulting him is out of your league.
but then again,i cant expect a joker to be writing sense
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